We got a new iPad at work, anyone wanna guess what I'm blogging with? I have to admit that while I initially didn't see the point in owning one of these, this is by far the coolest thing I've ever played with. I'm tempted to buy a new ipad and just get a cheaper, less shitty cellphone.
But I probably won't get one here as electronics are stupidly expensive.

Anyway , just wanted to share the new toy with the Interwebs!!

With the passing of the Obama backed healthcare reform bill, I've been knee deep in various debates with friends, co-workers, etc. These debates have made me realize that in some regards I've become more liberal while living here, and in other ways, more conservative.

My views on gun ownership have mellowed somewhat, but I'm not sure if that's because I don't feel the need to own one here (I don't have the assumption that burglar will be armed with a handgun as an example. Instead, he may have a knife, and I have a baseball bat so the odds are about even.), or if my opinion has actually changed.

Government funded university sponsorship is a fantastic concept, and one that I am behind 100%. I am more than willing to pay more in taxes so that people who have the talent and intellect to go to university, have the financial resources to do so. This, in my opinion, is a solid investment in the future of each and every country/community. There are some downsides to this however. I've noticed that students don't take university level education as seriously if they're not paying for it. If you're putting yourself into thousands of dollars worth of debt for something, you'll damn well make sure you get that fucking diploma.

And while I've always viewed socialism as a strangely unique European commodity that wouldn't really fit into the American system, using it and seeing it firsthand has strengthened that perception. Its also made me move from being baffled over the concept, to downright hating certain elements of it. It removes the notion of personal responsibility, instead forcing everyone as a whole to carry those that refuse to take care of themselves. (I'm not referring to those with disability, etc.) Smoking, obesity, etc. are expensive, high fatality habits. My solution? Make those that have self-inflicted high risk indicators pay more. And those of us that actually take care of ourselves should pay less.

I believe that people who earn more, shouldn't be taxed at a higher rate than others. I'm all about a flat tax based system. Having said that, I think the UK method of tax makes a fuckload more sense. Filing a tax return, etc. is stupid and just leads to problems and insane overhead. The lead up to April 15th is stressful, tiring, and overly complicated. The IRS streamlining alone would save our government billions.

Unions are turning into another bone of contention, particularly with friends I went skiing with in France. I understand that unions were initially put into place to ensure worker safety, etc. However, current unions (with regards to perception), come off as corrupt and willing to strike over things that cannot be assured, like job security. Take the Royal Mail as an example; workers decided to strike over the fact that jobs were being lost due to modernization of mail sorting facilities. This modernization was necessary so that Royal Mail could stay competitive and increase efficiency/lower costs. Utilizing technology to cut costs is a necessary element in any competitive business model.

People commenting that things like broadband are a human right fucking irritate me. Best part? I get taxed on ensuring that EVERYONE in the UK can have it. I'm sorry, but Internet access is NOT a right. Its a luxury, period. If the government wants to improve the telecom infrastructure for this country, that's fine, but its not a fucking human right. And don't tax me because I happen to pay for having a cable modem.

Immigration issues over here (and the fact that I am now am immigrant) haven't softened my opinion on illegal immigration back home. If anything, its made my views all the more polarized. I came here legally, literally paid my dues, and went about getting a job, etc. the legal way. Its a frustrating, expensive, and stressful process, but it can be done. Those that bypass the system and scream for kinder immigration laws piss me off more than I can articulate. And just because you've been living in a country illegally for a number of years does NOT entitle you to citizenship. Instead, that entitles you to a jail term and deportation.

This transformation of sorts worries me a little. I worry that my once purely Democratic street cred may be going the way of the Dodo. The last thing I want to do is turn into a conservative asshole where the very thought of Sarah Palin gets their panties all moist. Not for me thanks.

I have spent the better part of my morning working on a mind-numbling awful usability report, and reading this gem:
http://kotaku.com/5484581/japan-its-not-funny-anymore
and it gave me an idea. What do I like/dislike about the UK as it pertains to what I deem 'normal' (i.e., American)? Let's discuss!

Grocery Stores
This is mentioned in the article in terms of American grocery stores generally being organized in a very similar way irregardless of the parent company, or geographical location. I agree.
Milk/refrigerated items live in the back of the grocery stores back home. Meat tends to live in those areas as well. They line the back, waiting for you to poke and prod them.
Veg lives in the VERY front of the store. The second you walk in, there's fruit and veg living in their awesome little rows with sprinklers spraying them. (I have YET to see the veggie sprinklers here.)
Booze is NOT a separate aisle. It lives with the other wonderful refreshments god has to offer.
Result? I routinely can't find what I'm looking for. There is absolutely no continuity between stores, even of the same brand.

Public Transport
I honestly love this about Britain; there is actually a public transit system that is cheap and doesn't make me feel like I'm going to be beaten to death on the way to the airport. Its generally clean, and as everyone uses it, the wonderful British method of queueing and playing nice while out and about applies (during normal 9-5 commute times. All bets are off after about 6:30.).
However, I actively hate the fact that I can't afford a car. Its a right of passage in the US for a 16 year old to a) get a license and b) get a car. It signifies FREEDOM. You and all of your friends will compare birthdays to see who will get their license first (I always lost, GRRR!!) and then you will beg, borrow, steal, and pimp in order to get some 80s era beater that your classmates were probably conceived in. You will then LOVE this piece of shit and cry like a child when you sell it or, more than likely, wreck the fucker.
I miss the personal freedom afforded with having your own ride. I honestly feel like a random bit of herd while standing in line waiting for the bus. It puts you in the mindset that you are nothing more than sheep while waiting to get to the office, where you'll sit in front of a computer like every other no-name in the work force.

I need a moped or something.

Language
I like to think that spending almost two years here has indoctrinated me to the insanity that is British/Scottish slang. Ummm, no. I routinely have to google phrases and words in order to understand common conversations. This leaves me feeling stupid, embarrassed, and generally out of sorts with the flow of the topic/people around me.
On the flip side, I'll make a comment, unconsciously use an American or Southern term and get confused and or blank stares. I routinely use slang terms when trying to be funny, etc., which would work perfectly back home. Instead, I'm left holding an awkward bag of not-funny.

Excessive Drinking
People here drink way too fucking much. Seriously.
This would be okay if like back home, people generally stayed home to drink themselves stupid. Instead, Britain has pubs. Generally these are fantastic things that I greatly enjoy. You can get a lovely meal, cozy up next to a fire (my FAVE!) and nurse a pint for the majority of the afternoon or evening. However, here, people go out to get fucked up. People will vomit, and people will be staggering, and usually doing both of these things in the middle of the road.
And this doesn't happen Friday night into Sunday. No, this happens pretty much EVERY DAY.
I have gone to the Union for a cup of coffee at roughly 10 am, and people are walking around with pints.
My room mate blows through 5 or 6 bottles of beer every night. And spends about three nights out getting so hammered he has difficulty getting back into the house afterwards.
Watching people piss, vomit, or pass out in the middle of downtown is repellent and happens routinely.

Food/Ways of Eating
The first few times I went out eating with the locals, I noticed I was the ONLY one just utilizing a fork. Everyone uses both a fork and a knife, even if your chosen meal items do not require cutting of any kind. Why? Because its customary to eat in the most irritating and difficult manner possible; by using the knife to place food on the BACK of your fork.
I have since adopted this way of eating so I don't come off as some sort of low-bred imbecile that doesn't know how to use eating utensils. Result? I've conformed.
Meanwhile, I'm used to well...grazing. I snack off and on all day, resulting in a relatively large dinner, and then off to bed. People here tend to eat three meals...and they're pretty big meals. And they're HEAVY.
And salad isn't considered an actual meal here (WTF??).
I would also like some decent chicken wings. The Pizza Hut BBQ stuff isn't bad, but I would like some hot wings and ranch dressing please.
Speaking of, I miss ranch dressing. I know its probably the worst thing you can ingest EVER, but I could probably eat that mess straight from the bottle.
And prawn is not a flavor!!

Cards and Other Forms of Being Polite
Everyone sends cards for everything. Absolutely EVERYTHING. Thank You cards, postcards, birthday cards, engagement cards, more thank you cards, halloween cards, boxing day cards, good friday cards, etc. It. Never. Ends.
Back home we do cards for birthday and anniversaries. And even then, we're kind of ambivalent towards the whole concept.
This is why Hallmark loves the fuck out of Great Britain.

Newspapers
Having taken public transit back home, I have literally never seen anyone on MARTA reading a newspaper. Ever.
On airplanes, you can easily peg the Brits on board by two things; they have a newspaper in tow and a desire to travel to exotic locales that most Americans fear. (This usually results in them getting some scalp based maggot infestation, so they can keep that shit.)
On a recent flight back home for Christmas, it was roughly half n' half in terms of Brits to Americans ratio awesomeness. We were the ones plugged into iPods, DVD players, laptops, etc. while the Brits had books and newspapers. I'm sure there's some sort of literacy comment there, but I'm not going to go there.

Cellphones/Texting
I have only ever owned a phone for emergencies. I owned it in case my car exploded on 1-285 near Freedom Parkway and walking to the nearest gas station would probably result in me getting mugged or shot.
I HATE using the phone. Hate. It. I don't like answering it, taking calls, being on conference calls, or dealing with people in general in a phone laden situation. I'm an IT person, I prefer email or some other online medium. Having said that, everyone here texts. And they text A LOT. I'm bad at texting, very bad at it. It takes me about six times longer to put together a text message than Emma, which just serves to fuel my hatred for the tiny piece of plastic in my hand.

Work Culture
I like to work. It makes me feel useful, motivated, and generally, I like doing it. I also find myself working long hours if allowed. I am a boss' wet dream right? Not in Britain. This level of work love is off-putting for the British. There is a concept here called Work-Life balance. While the concept is great on paper, it's not actually achieved, and just adds another layer of stress on top of your already shitty work experience.
Just let us work insane hours, get promoted, get more money, and call it a day. Stop trying to cram therapy/holistic practices into my work day damnit!!
I have literally sat in a team meeting, grinding my teeth, because people are bitching about having to work overtime. I'm talking SERIOUS bitching that entails health and safety sections out of our staff handbook. Meanwhile, I'm sitting on my ridiculous bean-bag chair mentally screaming at people to pull on their big girl panties and stop being a bunch of pussies about a few hours after work.
Result? I work a lot of overtime.

ttp://gizmodo.com/5464079/robonaut2-nasas-red-shirt-who-may-one-day-rule-the-fleet
http://news.cnet.com/crave/robots/

Robotics, as far as I see it, are going to two strangely distinctive paths. On one journey, they serve as incredibly useful tools that help us with space exploration, education, and care-giving, etc. They are nothing more than incredibly sophisticated tools that help mankind in various ways.

The second, and profoundly more creepy of the two paths is well...interactive sex slave. This second path disturbs me on more then one level.

I have mixed feelings on both of these pathways. Through the wonder of sci-fi movies, TV, and various written elements, the average person can perceive that at some point, we'll achieve something of a decent AI. What does this mean for the two above mentioned pathways? In a word; slavery. When do tools stop being tools? If we can form emotional attachments to something like Roxxxy (the creepy as fuck sex robot linked above), have they moved past that already? Humans are fantastic and forming emotional attachments to inanimate objects. But what happens when that object is able to form an attachment back? Or decides that attachment is misplaced and unwanted?

I worry about the future of these tools, and what we may ultimately force them to be and do. The more I read, the more worried and kind of creeped out I became. Watching the video demonstration of Roxxxy for example made my skin crawl. Well, it crawled for a variety of reasons ranging from the need for certain people (mostly men), to turn women into nothing more than a warm vag, to robotic futures.

Is it weird that I think about stuff like this? Proooobably.

I was cruising through my iTunes last night and stumbled on to some music I hadn't listened to in YEARS. (I'm also disturbed that I have so much music that there is crap I have touched in the better part of a decade.)

I've started cataloging this musical insanity into its own overly huge playlist.

For your listening pleasure/amusement:

Gigi D'Agostino was a fave:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR0vl8FT5T8
(I have everything this man produced until 2004.)

Pretty much anything Kylie was like audio crack for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Thx1Wvlc5w0
(Who am I kidding? Her remixes make me want to curl up into a big ball of happy even now.)

I was also massively into Queer As Folk, and pretty much anything song wise off that show was downloaded and put on brain melting repeat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH8LvmY7i7c
(The amount of Operatica I have is mind numbing, seriously.)

This all have culminated in a fantastic New Year's resolution for me, getting my 90gigs of music in order. Trim what I don't want/like, and get the rest into functional playlists. I hate the search feature on my iPod, so playlists are invaluable for me.

I also miss my concert going buddies. Edinburgh doesn't seem to have the same insane concert schedule that Atlanta did, and I miss that. Glasgow probably has a more aggressive schedule but ew, its Glasgow!

http://jezebel.com/5341749/

My initial reaction was one of 'whoa....weird...' and not because she's a bigger girl, but because she's a model. Now this reaction gave me pause. Have super thin models completely altered our perception of what is normal in media?

Digging further, I found this:
http://jezebel.com/5424221/the-pros--cons-of-v-magazines-plus+size-issue

'Basically, a plus size model could be a US size 8, 10 or 12, despite the fact that those sizes are not considered "plus" by clothing manufacturers, So they don't exactly represent plus-sized women.'
This little tidbit is particularly frightening. I wear a UK size 8 or 10, but wear US sizes 2, 4, and 5. I'm a small mofo...how is it that I'm inching in on plus size??

I had this incredibly vivid, but altogether bizarre dream this morning.

I was an astronaut sent up in something akin to a hot air balloon, but something went wrong and I went higher than I was supposed to, resulting in me actually orbiting the Earth. But the balloon itself had exploded, so it was just me, in a flight suit and oxygen mask, orbiting the plant. I could see the distinct layering of atmosphere...

and this is literally what I saw while hanging quietly in space. I was trying not to panic, wondering how I was going to get down.
After a what felt like a few minutes, the international space station....nudged me into a lower orbit, where I was able to re-enter Earth's atmosphere. And that was one of the weirder bits...I can clearly recall the mechanized arm and the feeling of it colliding with me as I was shoved backwards.
I remember burning/falling through the atmosphere. As the ground swelled up in front of me, I remember that I had to pull my chute at 30,000 feet. I remember literally glancing at my wrist monitor and watching the feet bleed away. I passed over night-time cities, with lights flickering.

I tried to steer myself towards the lights, hoping that I would land somewhere populated. I pulled the parachute when I was supposed to (I can also remember grabbing the dangling chute pulls to steer), but hit the ground as a bloody mess. I landed in some sort of amphitheater, terrifying the audience watching some sort of play. I remember coughing up blood (the blood itself was strangely dark, almost black), my chest and arms burning.
One of the people there helped me, but I wasn't near an actual city, and was instead somewhere super isolated, so a family had to take me home with them. I remember looking at my arms when I was getting badged and seeing this horrible huge hanging patches of burned skin.
The whole thing was super, super strange. I woke up really disoriented and wondering the fuck was going on. I kept checking my arms and chest to make sure I hadn't ACTUALLY gotten burned.
I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I came into work a little early.

When at RB$, I have to have a visitor's pass, which is extremely inconvenient. This pass lets me into the building and nothing more. Every area that has a desk is closed off and only available via key swipe. I have to wait to be let into the web development area in the morning, and whenever I have to use the restroom, I have to wait outside the office to be let back in.
This has resulted in me standing outside for over half an hour waiting for some poor soul to need the bathroom. This happens ALL THE TIME. Because of this, I've acquired some interesting bathroom guerilla tactics.

1. I've located the female heavy water drinkers in the group. There are two. Whenever I'm on site, I position myself as close to one of these women as I can and monitor their coffee/tea/water intake. I can tell when they need to pee before they do. Its a skill.

2. Whenever a woman gets up to pee, no matter if I have to pee as well, I follow them out of the cubicle farm and into the bathroom. Once there, I stall-stalk them. This entails me listening intently to their in-stall activities (not always a great tactic) to best time my own exit from the stall and eventual re-entry into the cubicle farm.

3. Befriending the cleaning staff. There are moments when one has to really use the bathroom and pee stalking doesn't work out so well. Hence I have been super, uber friendly to all cleaning staff personnel. I make a point to say hello and good morning to each and every one. Whenever they need access to the desk I'm at, I immediately get up and find something else to do. I say please and thank you. And this has all paid off nicely. Whenever I'm left stranded outside, I go hunting for a member of staff with my 'oh my fucking god I just locked myself out of my office' face. This plays on their belief that all technical members of staff are inept in the common sense department, which is mostly true.

4. Partial dehydration during times of the day that have the least amount of fellow female pee-age.

5. Minimizing of coffee/tea drinking on site. However, I will totally fetch these two items for the two before mentioned heavy fluid in-takers on the team. These two products induce pee-age, which benefits me.

I know what you're thinking, why not pee stalk the boys too? Simple answer, they pee too quickly. I can never get out of the women's bathroom in time to catch them going back into the cubicle farm. I chalk this up to my inability to stall-stalk them, which is integral to my overall timing.

Oh well. *zeros in on heavy fluid in-taker needing to pee, dashes off*

http://consumerist.com/5388469/heres-what-the-new-fcc-net-neutrality-rules-mean

Great article on what the new rules mean, and how they impact American consumers. Personally I think this is long overdue. ISPs are already bitching about it in general (particularly since they can no longer block applications that actually utilize the bandwidth you're paying for), and John McCain is putting forth a bill in congress that should repeal these newfound benefits.

http://gizmodo.com/5388381/john-mccains-internet-freedom-act-seeks-to-block-fccs-net-neutrality-rules

Frightening how this man almost became president. We can only hope consumer rights prevail.

The air is growing cooler, the scents crisper. Cold air biting my throat. The sprint between pockets of warmth.

Chilly mornings and huddled covers. Snuggling deeper to hide from the cool dawn air.

Wood burning fragrantly in the distance, mixing with the damp evening fog. The night falling heavy and hard as the sun sets earlier and earlier.

Warming your fingers on a steaming cup. Scalding and soothing.

The leaves bursting with colors. Reminding me of trick-or-treating as a child. Shivering in my costume, yelling and sprinting from house to house.

And so the bated breath for spring starts.